One who listens closely to the eulogies said by the overwhelming majority of people will certainly notice one of its most poignant characteristics: the primary topics that are spoken about. Almost everyone engages in discussing the person’s interaction with the world around them: the people that they touched, the acts of kindness they performed, their readiness to help, their role in the community, how they interacted with others, etc. Accomplishments in other domains are mentioned much less. A second area that is emphasized in eulogies is integrity, honesty, reliability, one’s smile, dedication, and all basic moral behaviors they engaged in in their primary engagements. 

From this perspective, the message of eulogists fits very well with the words of the poet in Tehillim: “A psalm of David. Hashem, who may sojourn in Your tent, who may dwell on Your holy mountain? He who lives without blame, who does what is right, and in his heart acknowledges the truth; whose tongue is not given to evil; who has never done harm to his fellow, or borne reproach for [his acts toward] his neighbor; for whom a contemptible man is abhorrent, but who honors those who fear Hashem; who stands by his oath even to his hurt; who has never lent money at interest, or accepted a bribe against the innocent…” (Tehillim 15). The words of King David are part of various lists that exist amongst holy works, of which all share a blatant characteristic: the ethical conduct of man in various contexts assumes the most fundamental and central role. These contexts include the intrapersonal domain and are the indicators of the ethical principles that shape man’s behavior, and interpersonal in many diverse areas – from his proper conduct in business to his passion and feeling of responsibility for improving the lives of others. 

Does this mean that there is no significance to other topics? It would not be proper to determine that other domains – from Talmud Torah to professional achievements – are pointless; it would not be proper to nullify man’s other skills in his field of business, and the contributions he gave to the world of Torah, science, culture, economy, or politics. The meaning of being a person in the image of God is also to take responsibility for the world, to further its development, and express the many skills that were created through it. However, all of these are secondary. The most important principle, both in the eyes of people and the eyes of the prophets, is man’s attitude towards others and his interactions with them.

What can we learn from this? This can reshape our very own lives, together in consciousness and direction. We must always remember those around us. We must be aware that both from the prophetic world and the mortal world- a world of lovingkindness shall be built, and not artificially and ceremoniously, but from the depths of the soul and the will to give – sound relationships are formed between people. We must focus the tremendous impact of a welcome demeanor to those around us, from their halachic status as the Rambam mentions in Hilchot Tzedaka to that which we know from our own experience – each one of us is uplifted and strengthened by someone talking to us positively, and this can create wonderful things. These eulogies are a vital reflection not only of the positive memories we have of someone who has departed from this world, but also to be a guiding compass for life on this Earth.